In a recent conversation with my sister, she told me something her mother use to tell her.
Let’s say you want a new car. Something more sporty, or more functional..bigger..smaller.. However, there are papers, old bottles, trash, stale food, and mail with stains all over the seats of your current vehicle. You haven’t washed it in weeks. You’ve been praying, thinking happy thoughts a wishing for a new car, but nothing is happening.
Because, God can’t bring something new and shiny into your life until you can prove that you can take care of the old stuff first. How can he bring you a new car when you can’t take care of the old one?
This is my life.
I’m a left-handed, uber creative, 20 something, Gemini….. If that wasn’t enough to be stacked against me, I also run my own business where I have no help.
I’m crazy stressed due to a lot of things, and I have wished, prayed and tried to remain positive, thinking that things would turn around. They aren’t. Why? My soul is sad, my heart hurts and emotionally I’m unstable.
I know that God can’t give me the life I deserve until I can control the life I have in front of me.
So, I’m taking a step way back. I have projects I need to finish and then I am regrouping to make my life better on my own terms.
I have several opportunities in the upcoming months that will be amazing… Its just a matter of getting there.
I will actively be trying to remove the angry/sad/mad/worried posts from Facebook and I will not continue to post in that manner. I know it hinders me from moving forward and also makes me seem more unstable.
I realize that many people feel like I lack direction, and that I seem all over the place.
The truth is, I am.
However, I am the happiest when I am doing several different things at once. It may seem confusing, but I have a plan. I am passionate about all things and I truly love life and people.
One day you will see all that.
Please also remember that I am 27, and trying to find my place in this world. Please think back to when you were at this age.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope you so not mistake my upcoming silence for lack of interest or care as that is not the case. Often times I care too much.
Please do not mistake my silence for lack of caring or interest as that is not the case.
Have a good night. Thanks for reading this.