There is a chance that by reading the above title you are thinking this is going to be a whine session about my life.
You….. are partly correct and partly COMPLETELY WRONG.. but first you were correct.
I just have one question…. which may come as a series of questions in a moment.
Why do I annoy myself so much? I literally feel like I am driving myself insane, which means I must drive others insane as well.
I lose motivation in the blink of an eye. I never know what I want (too many choices). Once I do pick out what I want I have no patience to wait for it to happen. I’m a dreamer. I’ve got big ideas and I want them all to happen right now. When I am forced to follow the dreams of someone else, I fall into a pit of self loathing and I just splash around in it until another deadline hits and I need to pull myself out. I want to do what I want, in a way that makes myself and others happy. I do not want to conform.
Is it because I am a girl? Is it because I am a Gemini, or Left Handed… or a Cali girl suck in a beachless town? Is it because I am creative?.. I hear creative minds are the worst to deal with. Maybe it’s a little of all those things????
Or perhaps…. what’s even worse.. It’s just me.
LET ME BE HAPPY UNIVERSE!!
I work my ass off and I try to please everyone… haven’t I earned up enough karma points to give me what I want?
Top 10 List:
- Sell the Mini
- Buy a new car (cheap, 4 dr, reliable)
- Finish paying bills.. between IRS and medical I need 5k
- FIX MY FUCKING SKIN…… I mean the older I get the worse my skin gets. I’ve finally gotten myself into a place where my weight doesn’t bother me.. my skin though.. WTF
- Expand my business, find an investor, open up a boutique/event space. I have a great idea for how to increase local business, community outreach and to make money for everyone. EcoLocalFriendly BEETCHS!
- Travel, find amazing fabrics and inspiration. Meet people.. make friends everywhere.
- Spend more time exploring new things with Matt and Isis
- Become a better hula dancer. Be more dedicated, thoughtful and dance with passion
- Find myself and then get lost in creativity again.
- Read more, spend less time hunched over a sewing desk
After all that marriage, house, kids… blah.. all of that later.
Truly I want a successful business. I’m tired of struggling. I understand that your 20’s this is exactly what you are suppose to be doing.. but my my. they don’t tell you how exhausting it is.
I lied… this is all about me whining about my life.. but you’ve made it this far. so thanks.